Thursday, March 15, 2007

Nostalgia

I was born in the UK in 1967, and at the time my parents lived above a shop in the West Wickham high street. After I turned two we moved to a detached two-storey house in a quiet street near the station. It had an enormous garden, gurgly radiators powered by a boiler, and was the site of my first Goodies and Doctor Who experiences way back in 1971 or 72.

When I was eight we shifted to Spain, but my parents kept the UK house and rented it out. In 1983 we moved back in for six months, before selling up and shifting to Australia.

Anyway, ten minutes ago I happened to be browsing UK real estate - something I do perhaps once every couple of years, purely for nostalgic reasons - when I spotted our old house on the market:




An interesting fact: Before my parents bought this house it belonged to an english actress who - I believe - appeared in one of the early Bond movies. I remember my dad mentioning it in the 70's, so I'll have to ask him who it was next time I see him.

My dad laid that curved driveway, and there used to be neat box hedges below the ground floor windows. I distinctly remember water-bombing my best mate's sister through those windows above the entrance, and I also remember sitting at the window top-right at around 5AM in December 1981. We'd just arrived in England after a 3-day drive from Spain, via France and Andorra, and I was listening to english voices on my brand new walkman clone - in stereo, no less - whilst the smell of hot paint wafted up from the radiator burning my knees. Outside, yellow streetlight glistened off the rain-speckled windscreens of cars parked in the road below. Everything was different and yet familiar: I was used to the heat of Spain, spanish radio, marble floors instead of carpets, single storey whitewashed houses with thick walls, sun-warped wooden window frames and elaborate metal grilles instead of mock-tudor and small panes of glass in steel frames. And yet, I'd grown up in the UK, in that house, and so I was home.

If you think those two conflicting lives were confusing enough, throw in 20+ years living in Australia. It's hot, but we have carpets. Window frames are aluminium. Winter is in July, Summer in December. They speak English but the architecture and weather is mediterranean.

I only hope my kids are storing their own special memories of our current house.

Back to West Wickham: at UKP679,000 (Approx A$1.6m or US$1.26m), the old house is selling for almost ten times the price we sold it for in '83, and exactly 68 times what my parents paid for it in 1969/70.

Update: Found some old pics my parents took in the early 70's:





This one is July 1971, 12 months after moving in.




Same day, right hand side of the house. That's me in the white jumper and Paul Mycroft in blue. I was almost four years old in that shot.




My dad's Mustang out the front (no driveway, see?)




12 months earlier - 1970, same house as purchased.


Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, March 04, 2007

My first TV appearance

Last week I was interviewed about Hal Spacejock for the local TV show, 'The Couch'. It was an interesting experience - my degree is in Film & Television, but that only prepares you for life behind the camera, not sitting in front of it whilst trying to give semi-intelligent answers to the interviewer's questions.

TheCouchSnap.jpg

What can I wear that doesn't clash with lime or pink?


Anyway, it came out okay and the station ran a promo giving away five copies of Hal Spacejock Just Desserts. The funny thing was, sitting in the hot seat the interview seemed to last 20 seconds, and I thought the host, Fred Mafrica, wound it up really fast because I'd made a mess of it.

TheCouchLogo.gif


It was only when I watched the interview today for the first time that I realised I sat there and answered questions for at least five or six minutes. Most of them semi-intelligently, too!

(The show repeats this coming Wednesday on Access31 TV in Perth, and I believe The Couch may also be shown in Melbourne.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, March 02, 2007

Westbooks 'Night with our Stars'

Last night (March 1st) was the Westbooks 'night with our stars' event. Twenty Western Australian authors and illustrators were invited to address the 150-strong crowd of teachers, school librarians and publishing industry professionals, with each presenter given a few minutes to discuss their latest work.

It was a fun evening, although I managed to smash a wine glass, drop my own book (twice), crumple the cardboard podium by leaning on it and finished up by accidently throwing my bottled water across the stage. No, I wasn't under the influence — I don't drink — but I was animated and somehow kept the audience laughing throughout my brief melee. Sorry, speech. (As usual, I carefully prepared something to read and then ad-libbed wildly instead.)

There was a photo session at the start, lots of food and drink, and a couple of signing tables set up for authors to do the business. Apologies in advance to anyone who bought my books for their school thinking Hal Spacejock was uplifting literature with a strong moral message. You should have listened to my speech a little more closely ;-)

So, thanks to Westbooks and congratulations to all the authors present. It was a fun evening, and I'm looking forward to next year.

Complete list of authors in order of appearance: Raewyn Caisley*, Simon Haynes, Kirri Somerville, Julia Lawrinson, Broome Public Library, Andrew Lansdown, Guundie Kuchling, Anne Morgan, Kate McCaffrey, Diana Chase, Joy & Mike Lefroy, Steve Hawke, Louise Schofield, Aleisha Zappia, Sally Murphy*, Liliana Stafford & Sophia Zielinski, Katy Watson-Kell, Dianne Wolfer and Ken Spillman.

* Sent apologies.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, February 23, 2007

Hal Spacejock in the Amazon Jungle

No, it's not a catchy book title, it's just a reminder that the Hal Spacejock books are listed on Amazon US. So far each of the three books has an average rating of five stars, and that's without my talking friends and family into posting fake reviews - who'd have thought?

Hal Spacejock

Hal Spacejock Second Course

Hal Spacejock Just Desserts (Showing 1 copy left)




Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Upcoming Publicity and Author Events

I've just been going over the Spacejock publicity stuff with Scott at Fremantle Arts Centre Press, which would be my publisher. (Actually, they're about to become simply 'Fremantle Press' - and I'd like to think publishing Hal Spacejock knocked the Arts right out of them.)

Anyway, here's the current list:

This Sunday I'm doing a TV interview with Access 31 here in Perth. The program is 'on the couch' and I'm supposed to discuss publishing. Hopefully not arts, because that's something I have no experience with.

Monday I'm being interviewed, photographed and suchlike by the Freo Herald. For their arts section, no doubt.

1st March I'll be appearing at the Westbooks 'Night with our stars', which is a do for school librarians and teachers. Each author has three minutes to discuss their upcoming/recent book, which should be interesting. I'm thinking of a talk on the subject of 'Hal Spacejock - It's Not Art!'

Apparently I'll also be doing an interview with Grant Stone for Faster Than Light, and they put podcasts online so I'll link to that. They're also going to play the interview during the morning segment on RTR.

Scoop Magazine is apparently running a review of Hal 3 in the upcoming March issue. This is a classy tourist mag which you find in hotel rooms across Western Australia, and they usually feature a lot of items of interest to the discerning tourist ... including Art. Not this time! Snerk.

Scott tells me Swan magazine is going to be reviewing Hal 3. Alas, I don't know what SF has to do with the Swans. I mean, they didn't even win the Grand Final. Maybe they need cheering up.

Non-Hal news - the Sun Herald and The Age both featured my share market software in their Sunday supplement last weekend. Programming is SO an art.

Back to Hal news: I've been invited along to the WA society of Editors AGM to (I think) read from Hal or discuss editing or something. Either that, or I'm the Elephant Man to Janet Blagg's Treves.

Then there's the appearances at the All Saints' Kids' Lit festival for my second year running. All those school kids just waiting to hear about Writing True Art, and they get me.

I'll also be pootling around Swancon as usual - probably with a T-shirt decrying the sad state of Art in Western Australia.

More to come - this is just off the top of my head.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hal 3 now available


Just Desserts


Hal Spacejock Just Desserts is now available from bookstores across Australia and New Zealand. (E.g. Dymocks, A&R, Collins, Newslink, most independents.)

Copies are also available in the US from the North American distributor, ISBS, from Powell's Books, and from Amazon.

Everyone else can mail order from Fantastic Planet or the Australian Online Bookstore

Related News:
      First Hal 3 review
      Hal Spacejock Interviewed
      Clunk Interviewed


Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Launched

The Hal 3 launch was on last night, and we're all recovering nicely. Full details here.

We came, we saw, we launched. Now my focus turns to Hal 4.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Grumpy Old Bookman

Michael Allen runs an entertaining blog about UK publishing called Grumpy Old Bookman, and the third item on today's post is a neat little piece about the recent Hal Spacejock and Clunk interviews.

And about those interviews: feedback on both has been great, and Hal's is currently the third most popular item on the Specusphere. Clunk is not happy.

So, be sure to click Clunk's and shun Hal's.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Hal 2 - it's on for young and old

Hal Spacejock Second Course has been nominated in the West Australian Young Readers Book Award. According to my publisher, this is a great indication that kids love the book.

The West Australian Young Readers Book Award is a readers' choice award, organised on a statewide basis for young readers. As such, it pioneered a new concept in Australia, allowing children the major say in their prize winning literature.

To find out more about the awards go to the WAYRBA website

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Your invitation to a book launch



Dymocks would like to invite you to a Book Launch for Simon Haynes's new book “Hal Spacejock Just Desserts”, book 3 in the Hal Spacejock series.

Simon Haynes is the author of three Hal Spacejock novels, a number of articles on writing and publishing, and several short stories, one of which collected an Aurealis Award in 2001.

“Hal Spacejock Just Desserts”

A mysterious sealed crate, a pair of shady mercenaries with more guns than brain cells and the amnesiac robot which may or may not be on a secret mission ... Only interstellar ignoramus Hal Spacejock and the unflappable Clunk could turn a straightforward cargo delivery into space opera with clowns.

Three simmering planets, two cocky spacemen and one huge mess: Just Desserts, for your pleasure.


Author Signing

DATES: February 9th, 2007 (This Friday)
VENUE: Dymocks Carousel, Cannington
TIME: 7.00pm
TICKET PRICE: Free
RSVP: Please call 08 9356 8888 or email carousel (at) dymocks.com.au

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Clunk interviewed!

The Specusphere just interviewed Clunk as part of the 'Hey, let's talk to Hal and Clunk instead of the author' series.

You can read the result here

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Hal Spacejock Interviewed!

Specusphere has put the Hal Spacejock interview online, and you can enjoy Hal's thoughts on money, the future, and the nature of fictional characters right here.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Hal 3 a bestseller

January's bestsellers at Fantastic Planet bookstore

1...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts...Simon Haynes
2...Peace and War...Joe Haldeman
3...The Arrival...Shaun Tan
4...Galactic North...Alastair Reynolds
5...Pushing Ice...Alastair Reynolds
6...Running from the Deity...Alan Dean Foster
7...Red Phoenix...Kylie Chan
8...Red Spikes...Margo Lanagan
9...Thud!...Terry Pratchett
10..Temeraire...Naomi Novik

So, a big thank-you to all the staff at Fantastic Planet. Nice going ;-)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Working with an editor part 2

Last July I posted about working with my editor, in an attempt to illustrate the amount of work that goes into a book once it's picked up by a publisher.

Around the same time I expanded the article for Writers' World, and yesterday I discovered the article went into issue 3 late last year.

Writers' World is an online mag, and as luck would have it issue 3 can be read online here

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Australia day photos


Australia Day 2007


Very hot weather, but beautiful skies for the evening fireworks display. One of the launch barges had a 'wardrobe malfunction', with raging flames and fireworks still going off long after the display had ended. Maybe it was the SS Guy?

Here's one pic of the event ... I've put the rest on my website




Fireworks Display


Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Canning Times Article

I just spotted my ugly mug in the Canning Times alongside an article about the Hal Spacejock series. Then I saw it again on the masthead - cool.





(The article has a couple of factual errors, but who cares when they got the time, date and location of the book launch correct?)

Anyway, if you live in Perth and happen to glance at this week's Community News (other than the Canning Times), please let me know if you see the same article repeated. It was in the Arts section in mine.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Comet pics

I've been out taking pics of the comet most nights, and these two have come out pretty well:





(No digital manipulation - these are straight out of the camera.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

To get published, you just have to know the right people ...

... and other fallacies.

This one irks me more than most, to be honest. I've seen it in blog comments, feedback, whiny 'I am SO a writer' posts on forums and more.

Does anyone seriously believe that books only make the grade because the author was buddy-buddy with the publisher? I mean, sleeping your way to the top might work in some industries, but have you looked at a bunch of author pics lately? (I think you'll agree most authors are built for writing and thinking, not for striking poses.)

Seriously ... to get published you have to write a manuscript which is better than 95-97% of the slush pile, and then you need some luck, which usually means an editor happens to be looking for something in your genre when your manuscript crosses their desk.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Comet pics

I added a few pics of the comet to my flickr page, then submitted one of them to the Sunday Times. Imagine my surprise when I saw it on their front page slideshow barely 30 mins later. (It's number 2 of 9 pics at the moment.)


Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Aus Spec Fic Carnival

Gillian Polack just sent me a big list of links to knock into shape for the Aus Spec Fic Carnival. This is a monthly roundup of doings in the Aussie SF/F/H scene with links to the relevant blog posts so you can go and join the discussions. (Most of the links are hers, all the typos and factual errors are mine.)


You're also welcome to post your own Aussie specfic links in the comments trail below.


Let's start this month's joyride with the publishing announcements:

Karen Miller reports that she's handed in Empress of Mijak to her publisher.

AShR reviews two new Brimstone Press titles.

News from Agog Press: Two further anthologies of Daikaiju stories and a secret project, all to be released in 2007.

Ticonderoga issue 10 is out and includes three pieces of original fiction, a Sean Williams reprint, a couple of interviews (Paul Haines and myself, Simon Haynes) a bunch of reviews and a competition.

Ben Peek's new book is out. Twenty-Six Lies/One Truth.

Glenda Larke has several pieces of good news at once.

Coeur de lion publishing is proud to announce the publication of Rynemonn, a new Terry Dowling collection.

And if I may be so crass, Hal Spacejock Just Desserts was released this month and you're all invited to the book launch


Okay, we're stepping off the publishing merry-go-round to visit the funhouse.

Yes, it's the 2007 Aurealis Award Shortlist as seen from London.


One quick stagger around the spinning cylinder thing and it's off to the coconut shy.

No more Magic Casements, it seems.

Larbalestier/Westerfeld and the Norton Awards

There's a new HarperCollins Voyager author: details here

The Australian Speculative Fiction Project published the latest edition of their newsletter

Fantastic Planet published two bestseller lists: Their 2006 bestselling authors AND their 2006 bestselling books (Wish more indies did this.)

NZ comment on Chris Lawson’s Written in Blood.

Russell Farr posts on accounts, small press and sales right here

Writer/editor/reader interfaces – variations: Russell Farr and Gillian Polack


Now it's off to the house of horrors. Yes, the topic of REVIEWS ...
Glenda Larke and Shane Jiraiya Cummings


Brrr. Spooked out, time for the rollercoaster:

The all-user guide to year's best lists (well, one bunch of them) can be found here

About writing (including some 'what I did this year' posts):
On paragraphs (Justine)
On perspective/POV (Kaaron)
On the writer at fault (Alisa)

So, what do authors owe their readers?


While you're up there in the sky, about to plummet into 2007, why not take a look back? All these people did ...

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and nine


Off the rollercoaster and into the water slide:

Justine Larbalestier writes about things that it is useful for a writer to do at some point in their life.

Jenny Fallon writes about world building


Dripping wet, it's off to the dodgem cars. Bzzzzt!

Clarion South blogging: A-one, two three


Finally this month, the grand firework display with complimentary feast and cartoon character puppet of your choice: Gillian Polack once again on the strange side effects of Regency Gothic banquet testing. You can also read the continuing saga of testing for the banquet at www.foodpast.com

That's it for this month - as I said above, if you have aus spec fic news feel free to add it below. To allow everyone a chance to comment, I'm pasting this to three different blogs:

Blogger (halspacejock.blogspot.com)
LJ (halspacejock.livejournal.com)
Myspace (blog.myspace.com/halspacejock)


E&OE. If you do spot an E just let me know and I'll fix it. You'll have to post your own O.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Interesting

"ACTING Premier Eric Ripper has listened to PerthNow readers - and backed down from his push for Sunday trading and extended shopping hours."

Ripper abandons Sunday trading

I don't mean Sunday trading in Perth (or the lack of it) is interesting, I mean it's interesting that a senior government minister changed his mind after reading the feedback comments on a news story posted to the internet.

Obviously there were other factors: "Mr Ripper said he had 'listened to radio talkback, read letters to the editor and the hundreds of emails posted on the PerthNow website and spoken to the community, caucus colleagues and the relevant union and business'."

When the average citizen is ushered into the presence of a government minister they're usually awe-struck. But you just know that people will say things on the net which they'd never say in person. Not only that, unlike the immediacy of talkback radio opinions posted to news stories are visible after the fact, and as many a blog owner has discovered, more and more people pile in to have their say, tempers fray, fights break out and so on.

Anyway, I'm in no way a political animal but this did seem to be a case of everyday people telling government what they wanted, and getting it.

PerthNow is the online site for our Sunday newspaper. Comments are a relatively recent innovation, even if they're common elsewhere. In fact, I once left a comment on Perthnow about housing, only to have a journalist from the paper email to ask whether she could get a photo & interview. It didn't happen, probably because she realised I'd be wearing a Hal Spacejock T-shirt, cap, keyring, forehead banner tattoo and anything else I could print up in time ...

Anyway, now people know they can chime in on a story and maybe even influence government policy, this could get really interesting. Instead of moaning down the pub, you can moan online where Big Brother (not the TM version) is listening.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Hal 3 is out!

It's official - Hal Spacejock Just Desserts, book 3 in the series, hits shops across Australia and New Zealand from this week.




Click for full size


I've also seen sales figures for all three books in the series so far, and Hal's rockin' ;-)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Second chance draw - winner

Just before Christmas I drew four winners in the Hal Spacejock draw, but because it was the season of giving I set up a second chance where everyone who commented on the relevant post was included.

Well, the second-chance winner of a signed copy of Hal Spacejock (2nd Ed.) is ...

Paul Eisenberg

Just contact me at spacejock at gmail dot com and I'll sort out the book sending.

Commiserations to everyone else who entered, but I will be drawing more winners. Just make sure you're in the draw!

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Sings ... 21 again, 21 again

I turned 21 in 1988, and I just discovered I was also 21 in 2006:

All is revealed here

I also snuck into the top 50 authors here. Erk, "Not 44 yet, not 44 yet!"

In other Hal-related news (you thought this post was about anything else?) I'll have an announcement about the Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts launch shortly.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Hal Spacejock's diary updated

It's been a while, but Hal and Clunk have posted a new entry

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, January 01, 2007

Birthday competition

Win cake! (No, it's not my birthday and it's not my cake.)

If you have a little creative talent - or even a big chunk of the stuff - why not zip over to Julia Buckley's blog and join in the design-a-birthday-invite competition? Julia's hitting 30 and she wants an invitation which will ensure she's not partying alone.



Of course, living in Australia means draconian quarantine laws, so no cake for any aussie winners (and your piece would probably have added arsenic after the upcoming Ashes whitewash) but it's all just a bit of fun.

You only have a couple of days so drag out Publisher, Corel or Illustrator and start hacking away.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Year's Resolutions

Prompted by a post over on JA Konrath's blog.

I will submit a story to F&SF
I will complete the first draft of Hal Spacejock 4

As ol' JA says, don't set goals where others determine the outcome. Good advice.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

LibraryThing

I signed up with LibraryThing recently, after seeing it mentioned around the place. If you don't know what LT is, it's a site where you can catalog(ue) your books. Free accounts are limited to 200 books, or you can get an annual or lifetime account with unlimited entries.

Most popular titles already have an entry, and the site also offers a bulk ISBN import feature which gathers data from up to three different sources.

Unfortunately, of the 3000 or so books in my house I'd only catalogued about 1300 in my own BookDB software, and of those I'd only bothered to enter ISBNs for about 300. So, it's search-add-search-add for me.

The quickest way I've found is to gather all the books I have by a given author (thank goodness my collection is alphabetical!) and then I search for that author in LT under 'Search works' on this page (NOT 'Search authors' or you just get the author name...) When the list of works comes up you can sort by title and ctrl+click all the ones you have to open their pages in new windows, where you can then click Add to library.

The people running the site are open to suggestions - in fact, they've already made one change I requested and I've only been there a few days. They'll go far with that attitude - or else they'll get purchased by your local mega media conglomerate.

Signup is really quick and easy, with no personal details required, and the site is certainly worth a look if you've ever considered making a list of your books. It's fascinating to see how many other people have copies of the books you own, and you can also leave reviews and scores out of five for any title.

As for backing up, LT offers a CSV export, and naturally I'll be adding an importer to BookDB which will read their file format.

Final thing: If you have Hal Spacejock 1, 2 or 3 you can add them to your LT from their pages below:

Hal Spacejock LT page
Hal Spacejock Second Course LT page
Hal Spacejock Just Desserts LT page

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Draw Results

Every few weeks I draw a batch of names from a digital hat and send those lucky folk a signed copy of my novel. (If you're not in the draw you can enter here)

This particular draw is for a copy of Hal Spacejock with the funky new Dion Hamill cover.



Every person in the draw has received (or will receive) a unique number via email, and if your number appears below you've won a copy! Just reply to the notification email with your mailing address and you'll receive a signed copy of Hal Spacejock.


The winning numbers for draw 1221:

12305
12359
12698
12702



If you missed out, relax! There's a second chance! All you have to do is post a comment below, and in a few days time I'll pick a name at random and they'll also win a copy of Hal. (The second chance draw is one extra book for each of my Blogger, LJ and Myspace blogs. Keen Spacejock fans will no doubt seek out and comment on all three ...)


Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Upcoming draw

I'm going to draw three or four copies of Hal Spacejock in a couple of days time - this is just an advance warning in case you want to publicise the drawing amongst other fans of science fiction. Friends, family, worst enemies ... send them all here:

http://www.spacejock.com.au/HalNotify.html

(Remember, if THEY win a copy you can always borrow it .. then forget to hand it back.)

In a new twist, these copies will be from the second printing of Hal Spacejock book 1, with the NEW Dion Hamill cover.





And rest assured I'll be drawing copies of Hal 3 as soon as I get my hands on some ...

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, December 11, 2006

Toast part 2

I'm sure you've heard of the Madonna toast and the Elvis toast, but this morning I ended up with Happy toast:



(The mouth is natural but I confess to adding the jam.)

Anyway, my kids thought it was neat, and is there anything greater in life than hearing your own kids laugh? (They're not at the eyeroll age yet.)

Now, I'm a practical sort, and rather than listing this @rare@ and exclusive item on eBay or preserving it in a temperature controlled cabinet for future generations, I decided to put it to good use.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Yoyogod meets Hal Spacejock ...

... and Hal wins ;-)

Read the review here

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Post for nature lovers

A few snaps from around my garden, taken just five minutes ago with a Fuji Finepix S9500 and severely downsized from the original 3488 x 2616 pixels










Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ticonderoga Interview

Russell Farr interviewed me recently for Ticonderoga Online, an Aussie mag which describes itself as "a ticonderogapalooza of gonzo and quality sf in the tradition of Bester, Waldrop and Womack. Fiction, non-fiction, reviews and interviews. Australia's best sf for free!"

If you'd like to read the interview, or indeed, the rest of the issue, or even JUST the rest of the issue, you can do so right here

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, December 04, 2006

Hal Spacejock amazon.com update





Amazon has finally added an order button to their listing for Hal Spacejock (book one in the series).

They don't have copies in stock yet, but at least it's the right price AND sold & shipped by Amazon.com instead of the 3rd party merchants who were charging double the sticker price or more. (And wouldn't Hal be proud of that little dodge?)

Book two has been listed on Amazon for a while here. Book three is still pre-release, and not available to order yet.


By the way, I'm not trying to get anyone to order the books, but I keep fielding questions from US and Canadian residents asking when they can get hold of them. So, consider this a heads-up ;-)


Update


Well, I bet you saw this coming. The minute I declare Hal 3 isn't available for pre-order, Amazon adds a pre-order button to their Hal 3 listing. They're obviously spying on my blogs.

"When can I order Hal 3?" is the OTHER question people keep asking me. Click here and you can do so right now ;-)




Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Daylight Saving in Western Australia

If you live in WA this Microsoft patch for Windows XP, 2003 and Vista will automatically adjust your PC's clock for Daylight Savings over the next three years.

Better than setting them all by hand ...

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, November 27, 2006

Nano progress III


Done it, and it all but done me:



Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Draw Results

Every few weeks I draw a couple of names from a digital hat and send those lucky folk a signed copy of my novel. (If you're not in the draw - why not? - you can enter here)

Every person in the draw gets a lucky number, and for this draw I've changed things around and put the winning numbers in this blog post.

Before I get to the winners I'd just like to mention that it's only five weeks until the launch of Hal Spacejock Just Desserts, which will be hitting bookstores across Australia and New Zealand right after Christmas.

I do have ONE copy of the book in my possession, and you can see pretty pictures of that rare beast right here. Unfortunately that's a pre-release advance copy, and I can't let it go.

By the way, if you're looking to score a copy of Hal 3 via more conventional means, I'd drop hints about book vouchers when the subject of xmas presents comes up.

In other news, I'm currently the guest author on the ASif forums, and you're more than welcome to drop by and ask questions.

I'm also up to my neck in NanoWrimo, and am 40,000 words or more into Hal 4.

Okay, enough spam and onto the lucky winning numbers. If your number appears below, just reply to the email you received and include your postal address. You'll receive a signed copy of Hal 1 or 2 (mention which you want) and a set of six Hal Spacejock bookmarks:


The winning numbers for draw 1126:

5286
5672



If you missed out, relax! There will be other draws in future. If I get my author copies of Hal 3 before Xmas I'll be sure to give some of those away too, and that means you could be one of the very first to read the book.

If you know you're in the draw but haven't received your email, check your spam folder. Words like 'Free' and 'Winner' are red flags to most ISPs. If you're not sure, just enter again. My software filters duplicates anyway.

By the way, the Hal Spacejock Support Crew could score you a nice little collection of Spacejock swag in exchange for a blog post.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Nanowrimo interview

Sean Lindsay just posted an interview he did with me on the subject of NaNoWriMo. You'll find it here.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Milestones

There are several special moments in a writer's life: your first story sale, finishing a first draft, getting an agent or securing a publishing contract, handing in a final manuscript and many others.

One of them is receiving an advance copy of your novel in the mail.

Today I opened the door and found a small parcel on the mat. Inside I found not just an advance copy of Hal 3, but also the reprinted edition of Hal 1. Two new books! Bargain!

So, off to the scanner I went:



Hal 3 front and back


Hal 3 spine




Hal 3 reviews pages




Hal 3 dedication



Now, onto Hal Spacejock:

Hal 1 front and back


Hal 1 spine




Hal 1 reviews pages




Can I just say that Fremantle Arts Centre Press have done a stunning job? They're an amazing, dedicated bunch of people and I'd love the Hal Spacejock books to do really well just to reward them for taking a risk on me. They deserve no less than a worldwide bestselling series followed by a string of blockbuster movies.

Edit: I just checked the last few pages of Hal 1 and the publisher has inserted ads for Hal 2 and 3. The Hal 2 page starts with 'But wait, there's more ...' and Hal 3 says 'And that's not all ...' Lovely ;-)



Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Flyby

I shot this with my digital camera too:




And this one:



Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Red Bull Air Race pics

As promised ...

767 Flyover

Click here for a lot more.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, November 17, 2006

See me on Google Earth

Well, my car anyway. The white sedan in the green circle (bottom right) is my car parked outside my old work place. I'm 95% certain the white vehicle in the red circle (top left) is my wife's station wagon turning into the road.





The image is 3 or 4 years old, and I found it when Google Earth first came out. Didn't really think anyone else would be interested, but hey, people are scrambling to look at huge KFC logo so who am I to judge?

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Nanowrimo day 16

Wrote 2150 words today for a progressive total of 28839. I'm 1639 ahead of target, but one missed day and I'll be back to level pegging.

The good news is that instead of having to write 1677 words per day for the rest of November I only need to do 1512. If I stick to my daily 1800-2000 I'll knock this thing off in 10-12 more days.

Very busy weekend coming up, so I might not be crowing by next Tuesday ...

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Guest author on the ASIF forum

Just a quick note to let everyone know I'm the guest author on the ASIF* forums over the next fortnight. Please make your way over to the following link to participate:

ASIF forum - Simon Haynes

The discussion will most likely include publicising your work without alienating readers, the care and feeding of literary agents, surviving the editing process with all limbs intact, why self publishing is a good idea - sometimes, the ups and downs of small press, invisible short fiction markets and a whole range of other topics, so feel free to jump in. The more people participate, the more useful the result will be.

I'm your typical internet junky and will therefore be visiting regularly. My goal is to leave no question unanswered - your goal should be to ask the questions ;-)

* ASIF is Australian Speculative Fiction in Focus, a site which aims to review every piece of Aussie specfic - twice.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Nanowrimo motivation

This is my reward for hitting 20k words during Nanowrimo. (Okay, so it's actually my birthday present. I can still use it as motivation.)



Fuji Finepix S9500


This is my reward if I finish Nanowrimo:



Microsoft Flight Simulator X


You probably think they're the wrong way round, given the camera is worth ten times the Flight Sim, but I need the camera for the Red Bull air race this coming weekend. Organisers have laid out a grass strip on Langley Park (Perth, Western Australia), and this is the exact view I'll be enjoying:





That's a wide angle shot - it's even closer live.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Interviewed on Novel Journey

Novel Journey just posted an interview they did with me recently. I promised to stick around and defend some of my outrageous theories, so feel free to go post virtual raspberries.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Nanowrimo Progress - day 11



Yesterday (the 11th) was my birthday, but I still managed 2000 words for the day. The graphic above is one of the handy little Nano widgets, and it should keep updating without me having to do anything. Just as well, because I've written 1100 words today and it's nearly 3pm.

Still, that's just over 20,000 words in 12 days, and if I kept this up year-round I'd be able to bash out seven or eight first draft Hal novels a year.

A truly frightening thought.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

yWriter nominated for an award

yWriter has been nominated for the PricelessWare best free software award. Anyone with a Google login can vote here

If you've never heard of my yWriter software, see here for details.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Nano progress II

Reached 12,123 words tonight, with 1714 for the day. It's a bit of a struggle and some of the writing is a bit forced, but the occasional funny gag makes it worthwhile.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Golden Hype award

I think Amazon should institute a new prize: The Golden Hype, awarded for "The highest number of positive reviews for a book which we still don't have in stock."

First place, Hal Spacejock with 7: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/192073189X/

Second prize, Hal Spacejock Second Course with 3:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1921064668/

(Okay, so 3 reviews isn't really hype. Work with me on this one.)

They're not fake reviews, and I like the way some reviewers mention how they got their copies - ordered from Australia, sent over by a relative, picked up on a trip to Antartica ... in fact, every which way except via Amazon, who still don't have the books in stock.

Hal 3 comes out in January, and I'm betting it'll be available before the other two. If not, there's another Golden Hype award in the wings.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Nanowrimo progress

It's been a rough start to the month, writing wise, but the whole point of NanoWrimo is that you churn out the daily words whether you feel like it or not.

For the past couple of weeks I've been building an ambitious shelving unit for DVDs, although that's just something I do in rare moments of spare time. (I design and build my own bookcases, each more elaborate than the last. I start with lengths of pine from the local timber supplier and and up with exactly what I want, most of the time. I've been doing this for years, and most of the accessible walls in our house are now covered with bookcases.)

Apart from tinkering with the DVD shelf I also squeeze in 42 minutes on the exercise bike every day. Why so exact? Because I built a laptop shelf for the bike, and 42 mins is the length of most TV shows once they hit DVD. Yes, that's 18 minutes less than watching them on TV, which is the subject of one of my very first blog posts. I can cycle 11km in 42 mins, which is plenty when you're doing it every day.

Anyway, enough of the ancilliary stuff and back to the writing. Last Thursday night I was up until 1:40am and had to get up at 7 the next day, which left me zombie-like from lack of sleep for the whole of Friday. I can scrape by with 7 hours for a couple of nights running, but 4 1/2 is nowhere near enough. I still managed 1500 words on that day, but I daren't re-read them. You need to be fresh to write well, which is rule #1.

On Saturday we took the kids to a local agricultural fair at 11am, got home at 2:30pm zonked out after rides, sideshows and various sugary treats, and then had to rush the eldest daughter to a birthday party for 3pm. Picked her up again at 6pm, and rushed her home just before the inlaws arrived for dinner. Had a good meal and chatted & played games until 10:30pm or so. Kids to bed, and I managed about 1000 words afterwards. It was a good family day and the kids had an absolute riot but it's not one you'd highlight as an example of getting words on paper. Got to bed around 12:30. You need to be single and living in a monastery to write lots, which is rule #2.

Today I pulled out all the stops and wrote 2239 words, which got me back on track. My running total is 8317 words and that's just 183 behind my self-imposed target of 8500. Sometimes you just have to shut the door and get to work, which is rule #3.

Apart from the writing I also applied the last coat of varnish to my DVD shelves and scavenged a full length mirror the neighbours threw out, took it apart, stripped the old paint and helped my eldest daughter apply three coats of navy blue acrylic to the bare timber. It was dry in no time so I gave the glass a good cleaning before putting the whole thing back together. I fitted it to her cupboard door, and while she's not the fairy princess type, is she happy with that mirror or what? Sure, we could have gone out and bought one but it was a whole lot more satisfying to do the job ourselves - and that's rule #4.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Another blog to read

Found via Battersblog: 101 reasons to stop writing



Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, October 27, 2006

Writing tip o' the day

So it's your turn to empty the dishwasher, and amongst the sparkly clean knives, forks and plates you come across this plastic doohicky thing you've never seen before.
Normally you'd search the kitchen drawers & cupboards for a similar doohicky so you can put this one with it. However, a writer's time is precious, so here's your time-saving tip for today: Set the plastic jobbie aside for the minute, and when you've finished emptying the dishwasher just chuck the doohicky thing back in again. Hey, not only did you empty the dishwasher, you've now made a start on refilling it!
Repeat this tip until it's someone else's turn to put the stuff away.
And you never heard this tip from me.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The things kids say ...

I was playing Lego Star Wars with my youngest daughter yesterday, and after a couple of hours battling through Episode I she finally asked me something which had obviously been troubling her for some time:

Dad, why do they call it a Life Saver when it chops people up?

Neat game, by the way.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Talking about showers

(This is a G-rated post, which will probably divide my readers into disappointed and relieved.)

Actually, I want to talk about shampoo. My wife buys the stuff in our house, not because I don't do any shopping but because I never notice when we've run out. That's because I always use the closest bottle-shaped container, be that shampoo, conditioner, bubble bath or mould remover.

So, there I was having my shower, and when I reached for the nearest container it said 'Coal Tar Shampoo'. I rolled my eyes, soapy film and all, and put it down to marketing bods trying to appeal to the survivalist types. Wondering what it REALLY contained, I splurged a dollar-bill-sized amount onto my hand and started to lather.

Well, I can tell you what it REALLY contained: Real fricking coal tar.

Let me divert for just a sec.

As a kid I used to walk to school, and along the way there were many fences painted with creosote. I remember that smell like it was yesterday - or indeed, five minutes ago. As a kid I also used to play on and around train tracks (don't ask), and right now I smell almost exactly like a railway sleeper, and the bathroom has that eau de marshalling yard aroma which comes from years of heavy diesel traffic. Bargain.

As I towelled off I pondered the uses for this wonderful product, and then it hit me: model railway enthusiasts. Don't go buying expensive tins of creosote, just spread Coal Tar (tm) shampoo on your papier mache mountains. Better still, add it to the paste while you're making the things for a really long lasting stench.

Coal Tar (tm) shampoo: redefining 'clean'

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, September 29, 2006

Metatextual or imagination?

You hear about authors inserting themselves in their books, whether deliberately or not. But how about authors being inserted into cover art without their knowledge? I'll let you be the judge ...





(Neither side of the image has been doctored - they're just merged as-is. In case there's any doubt, I'm the one on the left. The Hal pic came from the cover art of Hal Spacejock Just Desserts.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Make money fast - NOT!

I'm sharing this because some folk seem to think writers dash off a first draft, seek an agent and then wait for the money to roll in.

Over on the Voyager forums someone asked an innocent-sounding question which turned into a bit of a confessional. Quite a few HarperCollins Voyager authors post on the board, so it was interesting to hear their responses.

The question? Something along the lines of "I wonder who took the longest from manuscript finish to publication?"

Karen Miller, author of the Kingmaker/Kingbreaker duology: approx 15 years.
Glenda Larke, The Aware: 14 years (1989-2003) and Heart of Mirage: 16 years (1991-2006)
Russell Kirkpatrick: Across The Face Of the World: 20 years (1985 - 2004), In the Earth Abides the Flame: 19 years (1994-2004), The Right Hand of God: 3 years (2003-2005)

That's just a selection, but you can see that 10-15 years is much more likely than one or two.

And just for reference: Hal Spacejock: 12 years (1994-2005, although I didn't finish the first draft until 1999), Hal Spacejock Second Course: 2002-2006, Hal Spacejock Just Desserts 2003-2007.

I can't speak for the other authors, but my own books have undergone countless rewrites, drafts and polishes during that time. In other words, I wasn't just sitting around for 12 years waiting for a publisher to throw money at me.

So, it takes years to get into print. Big surprise. But what can you do with that information?

First, you should have a long term view, because the publishing industry will still be there when your manuscript is ready.

Second, it doesn't matter whether they publish your first, third or fifth novel. Once in print they'll want to see your trunked manuscripts, so all that effort wasn't wasted. And with your added experience you'll be able to spot the flaws in those unpublished works.

Want to know how I did it? I decided to write fifteen novels in the Hal Spacejock series ... one per year until I hit fifteen. If I still wasn't published by then, I'd give up.

How many novels are you planning to write?

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Shh, don't tell anyone.

I have no idea whether I'm allowed to show this yet, so I'll assume yes and apologise profusely later.

I just got the cover for Hal Spacejock Just Desserts (book three in the series), and the result is eye catching and rather special:



Nice work, Dion!

In other news, the first print run of Hal Spacejock (book one) is just about gone, and Fremantle Arts have confirmed a second print run. This second printing will feature a brand new Dion Hamill cover to match the rest of the series, so the original version is destined to become @RARE@ if not @MINT@

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, September 11, 2006

On toast

This is one of those blog posts where I appreciate an underrated food. Yes, humble sliced bread lightly browned on both sides.

Nothing in life is simple, and good toast isn't just a matter of whacking the sliced stuff in the nukifier and slopping on the topping of choice when it pops out again. No, toast has to be done right.

First, you need one technique for real bread (which doesn't need toasting anyway - better fresh) and another for the stuff you get in gaudy plastic bags with the little plastic doohicky and an expiry date about a week in the future.

This post is about the latter.

First, let me describe the different kinds of toast. The worst kind, to me, is a slice which is spread with marge the instant it hit the plate. The problem here is that the huge amount of heat in the bread melts all the marge, the bread collapses and you end up with a damp flannel with chewy edges. Yuk.

Better is a slightly cooled slice which holds its shape, where the heat softens the marge (or butter, if that's your thing) and which goes CRUNCH when you bite it.

There's a reason they invented toast racks, you know, and it wasn't just so you could stand it all in a neat row. See, the bread still contains a load of moisture after toasting, and if you lay the stuff on a plate it'll just make a damp spot. Yuk again.

I'm a four slice guy, so four slices go into the toaster, which has the dial set to 3/4. Once they pop I leave them to cool for about five minutes. Is it ready after that?

Hell no.

Set the dial to 1/4 and give the toast another dose. This will dump more of the moisture and give you that all-important crunch. Incidentally, bis cuit is french for cooked twice, and biscuit toast is just how I like it. (If you use thin bread adjust the times downward or you'll end up with particle board.)

Remove the toast and - vital - make a tent on your plate with the slices. If you have a toast rack, great, but this works just as well. Let it cool for a couple of minutes and THEN do the spreading.

Now a note on the bread. For years I've worked my way through sliced loaves, always leaving the endy bit on top to keep the upper slice fresh. Once I reached the end of the bag, into the bin it went, along with both of the endy bits.

A week ago, facing endy bits or no toast, I slung them into the machine. POW! Best toast ever. Now I hoard those endy bits for special occasions.

Must go - the toast just popped and today I have three endy bits to enjoy.

(And if you have a toast method you wish to share, feel free to comment. Maybe we can start a PAHBB society - People for the Appreciation of Hot Browned Bread.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Asimov Classic?

On my Hal Spacejock site I have a few pages dedicated to classic SF authors - for example, William F Temple. After I first put the pages up I soon discovered the one on Isaac Asimov was the highest ranked on Google Australia, which prompted me to remark at an SF convention that given I was now Australia's formost authority on Asimov I'd better put some actual content on the page.

Today, according to my server logs, over 200 people arrived at my site after searching google, MSN, Yahoo and so on for 'Asimov Classic' and 'What is an Asimov Classic?'

Nice to have all those visitors, but what exactly set them off? (Wacky suggestions in the comments trail welcome.)

update: Another 150 or so overnight.

update #2: Two days later and they're still coming. Maybe it was a crossword with a million dollar prize?

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

PRESS RELEASE – Simon Haynes joins JJLA

Australian SF/Humour writer Simon Haynes has joined the John Jarrold Literary Agency. Simon’s first two HAL SPACEJOCK novels have been published by Fremantle Arts Centre Press. Featuring an inept interstellar cargo pilot, HAL SPACEJOCK hit the bestseller list at Dymocks (one of the big two bookselling chains across Australia and New Zealand) on release, and is outselling major SF and Fantasy authors in specialist bookshops. A second printing is expected soon, and together with its sequel, HAL SPACEJOCK SECOND COURSE, it has gained these reviews, amongst many others:


"Fast, funny, quirky, enthralling comedy adventure; not just a genre parody but a well-made story in its own right, told with a light, deft touch. Better than RED DWARF!"
Tom Holt

"A dizzying ride, lurching from planet to planet and crisis to crisis as Hal bumbles his way through meetings with inept assassins, murderous rich guys, gullible officials and a bailiff with a very nasty robot. Blithely oblivious to the havoc he causes, quite astonishingly incompetent, and someone I wouldn't trust to use my toaster without a fire-extinguisher and a team of firemen standing by, Hal Spacejock is one of the most memorable figures in sci-fi. It'll never be high literature, and it's unlikely to make the classics list, but who cares when it's this much fun? A book to be enjoyed over and over again."
Joules Taylor – SF Crowsnest reviewer

"The quirkiest genre satire to hit bookshelves since Terry Pratchett's Discworld"
The West Australian

"Riddled with slapstick humour and glib one-liners"
Courier Mail, Brisbane


'Having published a number of humorous writers,' said John Jarrold, 'I was taken by Simon's storytelling and the fact that he really likes his characters. Together with a great sense of wit, that makes him a winner in my view.'

You can visit the Hal Spacejock website here

John Jarrold has run three science fiction and fantasy imprints in the UK since 1988 - Orbit Books, Legend Books (Random House) and Earthlight (Simon and Schuster) - and edited many well-known authors.

Contact John Jarrold for further information: http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/

3rd September 2006

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Read this if you want to get an agent/get published

Miss Snark has just started analysing REAL query letters and REAL first pages from fiction submissions on her blog.

See the mistakes people make. See what puts an agent off quicker'n a malfunctioning coffee percolator. Stop reading my blog and go and look at hers instead

If you have any intention of getting an agent or getting published, read them all. Now.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, September 01, 2006

No news is good news

I've been flat out recently, and one of the things I'd like to talk about is a school visit I did to the Bunbury Primary School. They invited me down to talk to the kids about writing and publishing as part of National Literacy Week.

When I've visited schools in the past I've mostly talked about my background and how I came to write the books. This time I thought I'd do something more useful so I designed a story planning worksheet and printed enough for all the kids - around 300 all told.

I blanked out all the terms on these worksheets except for the first letter (e.g. C for Character) and let the kids guess them. It kept them interested and some got them right straight away. Then I got them to write down their own data next to each term - for example, the character's name.

I'm not a teacher by any means, but they all seemed interested and I understand some of them were motivated enough to make a start on the stories they'd planned.

I spoke to years 3 to 7, seven classes in a row, and as the ages went up I made sure to include more info. For example, I included info about literary agents, editors and submitting to publishers.

By the way, on a similar note (but involving a somewhat older age group) I'll be doing readings from Hal Spacejock books 1-3 at Edith Cowan Uni this Friday for their regular Lunchlines event.

And what about the title of this blog post? I can't say yet, but you can speculate all you like in the comments trail. (It is writing related news.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, August 26, 2006

A reality check - meeting famous authors

Spotted at the library yesterday: a flier for an Andy Griffiths book signing today. (Andy's the author behind the Zombie Bums books, amongst others, and each of his new books regularly hits the childrens bestseller lists.) Wouldn't you know it, my kids are away with their grandparents for the weekend.

Still, I figured I'd go along, pick up a couple of books for my kids and perhaps give Andy a copy of Hal as a gift.

I got there at five to two and there's a queue of kids about a mile long, all of them clutching Andy Griffiths books. I saw tatty copies, new copies, covered copies and several which looked like they'd just come from a school library. While I sat and envied, a lady nearby asked me what was going on. "Just a book signing," I said casually, as if every book signing attracted two-three hundred people.

Fifteen minutes later the line hadn't got any smaller, so I left to do some errands. Just before I left though, the lady's companions had come back, and one had a nephew or grandson who sounded like the perfect reader for a Hal Spacejock book. Happy that someone was going to get it, I personalised the copy I was holding and handed it over.

For some time I've been after a high definition set top box with a hard drive recorder, because time shifting is the perfect solution to annoying ads. Unfortunately Saturday shopping hours were slipping away so I hurried off to find what I needed. (Only gas stations, convenience and hardware stores are open Sunday in Western Australia.)

By the time I'd found what I needed it was ten to four, and I was nine minutes drive from the shopping centre. I suddenly realised the signing would probably go for two hours, and if I hurried back I might just get those books signed after all. So, back I went, hauling a spare copy of Hal from the trunk, and there was the author sitting at his table with just one child in the line. I couldn't have timed it better with a stopwatch ... packing up was literally in progress.

I nipped in and chatted to Andy's publicist while he was signing books, and asked whether I could give him a copy of Hal. She spotted the 'Better than Red Dwarf' comment on the cover and said Andy was a Red Dwarf fan, and would probably like something to read on the flight home. Done deal. (I personally wouldn't read about a crash-happy pilot like Hal just before climbing aboard a jet, but there you go.)

I didn't stop to chat long because everyone looked like they were ready to cut and run, but Andy took the time to draw cartoons in the copies of his books I'd bought for my kids, and he got me to personalise the copy of Hal for him. I didn't mention crash-happy pilots at all.

Tell you one thing - I won't forget that huge line of kids waiting patiently to get their books signed. Apparently the average number of people turning up to signings is four, so that two hundred covers about fifty complete no-shows ;-) (I've never done a signing for Hal books, but I've had a secondary launch at a con which didn't.)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, August 21, 2006

Don't buy this book either ...

... and for twice as many reasons as last time. I was just looking at the Hal Spacejock listing on amazon.co.uk when I spotted the following entry amongst the third party sellers:





"Nice Book" it says. It'd want to be more than nice for almost four thousand Australian dollars. And I thought the copy listed on Amazon.com for US$1985.01 was overpriced.

Just wait until they list Hal Spacejock Second Course. You'll need the GDP of a small country to pick up a copy.




.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Friday, August 18, 2006

Do not buy this book.

Well, not this particular copy anyway (note - this is NOT a doctored image):



(See the third one? Think there might be a decimal point in the wrong place?)

Here's the original listing, although it might change real soon now.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

AW blog chain

In a moment of madness (and with only minutes to spare) I put my hand up for the Absolute Write blog chain.

Each participant blogs about something pinched from the previous person's post, then links back. Simran is just before me in the chain, and she blogged about some of the indian items in her apartment, turning the post into a story. Then she challenged me, a science fiction writer, to take something out of it for my own effort. Hmm, tricky. Then I realised she finished her story with the words 'lost in another world', and it all became clear.

I've been lost in another world twice in my life. Once when we moved to Spain, the second time when we moved from Spain to Australia. In this post I'll cover the first, because I was younger and it was a much bigger culture shock.

At age seven, I was settled at the local school and had several very good friends. This was the early 70's, in England, and we lived in a comfortable two storey house with central heating and nice gurgling radiators in every room. Dr Who and the Goodies were on TV and we had a huge garden - everything a kid could want. It was a quiet street, fairly close to the train station and local school, and all the neighbours were happy and friendly.

Then, with a few months notice, our family moved to the south of Spain. (The Costa Blanca was known as a hotbed of british criminals hiding from justice, but we didn't go for anything as exotic as that. My dad suffered a serious accident, and moving from damp English weather to the sunny, hot climate of Spain was going to be a big help with his recovery.)

My dad flew down first to scout the place out, while my mother, my brother and I remained in England. Then we got the call - time to move. I don't remember the flight but I DO remember Alicante airport, which was a sea of cool marble flooring and signs I couldn't read.

My dad met us there, and as soon as my mum was out of earshot he told my younger brother and I the gag he'd come up with. He was going to drive us to the local campsite, show us a tatty old tent, and tell us it was our new home. We, my brother and I, were to play along, ecstatic at the chance to live outdoors. My mum, presumably, would enjoy a good laugh afterwards.

So, with my brother Mat and I hunched up and fairly snorting in anticipation, we drove an hour or so to the fishing town of Altea. Main road turned to minor road, minor road quickly became dirt track, and there it was: Camping Miami! A field with a few derelict caravans melting in the heat and an office that wouldn't have looked out of place in The Great Escape - as the solitary confinement cooler.

We drove through the gates and dad pointed out a tent, saying it was quite nice inside, while Mat and I enthused volubly. My mum looked a little uncertain, to say the least.

Then dad said he'd made some good friends nearby, and they'd invited us to lunch. We drove to this lovely place with masses of flowering bougainvillea outside, a wrought iron fence and those ubiquitous marble floors. Once inside there was no sign of any friends, but my dad turned to us with a huge grin and said 'This is our new home.'

(30 years later they're still happily married, although they've never been camping since.)


Now, the next stop on your blog chain is Organised Chaos, so I'm passing on the baton. Enjoy!



Would you trick someone this cute? (My mum, age 6)


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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Support Crew cards are in

I had such a fantastic response to the Hal Spacejock Support Crew meme of a week ago that I went out and spent a hundred bucks or so on some little Support Crew business cards for everyone. (And it's not too late to get yours - just follow the link above for instructions.)

Anyway, I ordered my business cards from someone advertising on ebay of all places. (I'm in Western Australia, he's on the other side of the continent) You email him a rough idea and he'll do all the artwork, going back and forth until you're happy. Then he organises the actual printing and ships the cards overnight express - and the price includes design, printing and delivery.

I do my own artwork (I've been doing full colour brochure layouts for years) so I sent him finished files after getting the required specs, and when the cards arrived an hour ago I was more than impressed. Sharp, nice and bright, and a very close match to what I had on the screen. Very happy.

So, if you live in Australia and need some quick and easy printing - and not just business cards - give Tom at Wainwright Media a go. I'm not one for rampant plugs but I like to reward good service. (You can say I sent you but it won't make a blind bit of difference.)

Incidentally, all the goodies will soon be on the way to everyone who pasted the Support Crew code into their blog and then emailed me with their addresses. Hah, you forgot that bit didn't you?

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

An editor says thanks

Not my editor (who doesn't need to thank me for anything - rather, the reverse), this is a nice thank-you from an editor I don't even know, and she's happy with my recent article on how I work with my editor.

It's always nice to discover industry people are reading my blog. Actually, it's nice to discover anyone is reading my blog, industry or not. You know you've made it when someone actually links to your verbiage.

And just so you know, yesterday I expanded the article to 1800 words for writers world, where it should appear in the next month or two. Once they take it down I'll add it to the collection of writing articles on the Hal Spacejock website.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Winners from name a Hal book

These lucky folk have won a signed copy of Hal Spacejock in the recent 'name the next Hal book' competition:

Gerald Williams (HS: Moon Shot)
and
Kelly (HS: Sticky Parts)

Send me your postal address to hs1 at spacejock dot com and I'll have your book delivered asap.

Everyone else who entered, don't go yet - email me your postal address and I'll send you a set of bookmarks, a Hal Spacejock support crew membership card and signed Hal Spacejock bookplates. Yes, that's everyone else who entered, wherever you might be in the world.

And thanks for all the suggestions ;-)

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Hal Spacejock Support Crew

Update: If you join the crew I'll list your blog on the Hal Spacejock Diary




I joined Hal Spacejock's Support Crew
I didn't pay anything,
I didn't sign anything,
and I didn't read the fine print.
Just like Hal!


No space pilot can exist in a vacuum (hah!), and behind every successful pilot there's a talented and dedicated support crew.
Hal Spacejock is one of the least successful space pilots in the history of the galaxy, and a worldwide support crew is needed just to get him off the ground.

Join now for free Hal Spacejock goodies!
Join the team - - - - - - - - - Hal who?




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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Let's have some fun

(Update: this competition is now closed, but you can still enter the draw for a signed copy here)


I came up with the definitive Hal Spacejock title yesterday, although sadly I don't think it'll fly. (Hal Spacejock - Up Uranus)

After HS Second Course and HS Just Desserts, my editor jokingly suggested Port and Cigars next. I promptly came back with 'The Big Bang', then realised that'd be best for book six.

For now, book four is HS Legacy and book five is HS Faulty Parts, which I just KNOW is going to lead to 'Poultry Farts' every time I open my mouth.

Anyway, I played around with 'mint' but was fresh out of ideas. I messed around with 'port' and got a headache. Cigars - well, those jokes have all been done.

That's where the fun comes in. All you have to do is suggest a title for a future Hal Spacejock novel in the comments trail. The wackier the better - they don't have to be remotely useable, I'm just after way-out craziness here.

(E.g. HS: Wrong Port, HS: Full Moon, etc.)

Just get your entry in by August 15, 2006 and I'll select a couple of winners, who will receive a signed copy of Hal Spacejock 1 OR 2 (your choice.)

If you can't think of anything, why not share the link? If someone else wins you can borrow their copy.
http://halspacejock.blogspot.com/

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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Monday, July 31, 2006

Nostalgia

For all ex-pat poms, did you know you can listen to all BBC radio services live over the internet?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/

They also have the news in 33 languages.

If you find yourself wasting hours reading news sites when you should be working, try internet radio. I'm supposed to be doing paperwork, and background noise from the old dart is just fine by me.


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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Hal 1 limited

I just visited the Dymocks Hal Spacejock page and for the first time ever they're showing 'Limited Stock'. (Dymocks are one of Australia's largest bookselling chains, with over 80 stores across three countries.)

Now, I know how many my publisher has left from the original print run, and it's stuff all. They're preparing for a second printing, but that won't be a juicy first edition will it?

So, if you live in Australia or NZ and you've been meaning to get your hands on Hal, now's the time to pop into your local bookstore. Years from now you'll be able to tell people you were in on the secret before millions got on the bandwagon. (I write fiction, remember.)

If you live outside Australia and can't buy a copy, enter my draw. Not only could you win a first edition, it will be signed as well.

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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Hal in a nutshell

No, that's not the title of book six in the series.

I recently organised a number of free copies of Hal Spacejock for SF bloggers around the world. I'm not expecting them to drop everything and post glowing reviews, so why do it?

First, because it's neat to have something of value to give away, even if that value is only twenty bucks.

Second, Hal is a fun book and they might enjoy it. There's a reason humans tell jokes: that special feeling you get when you make someone laugh is priceless, at least to me.

Third, because mainstream press tends to ignore genre (SF/Fantasy/Horror) titles. (In turn, SF/Fantasy/Horror fans tend to ignore mainstream press.) SF blogs, on the other hand, are a gathering of like-minded folk, a sort of rolling 24/7 SF convention. Conversations spring up, points are discussed at length, and word gets around. If someone does get a laugh out of Spacejock, they might get that special feeling by sharing the joke with others.

Fourth, because Hal Spacejock is an odd title. One glance and people picture a muscle-bound idiot barging through life using his fists to settle every argument. In truth, Hal would sooner run away than go toe-to-toe with a librarian, and his character is (deliberately) as shallow as a puddle. I like my little jokes, and one of them is that the books are as much about the sympathetic and noble character of XG99, aka Clunk the robot, as they are about Hal. Clunk's constant struggle to keep Hal in check is a huge source of amusement, and it's wonderful when he completely loses it from time to time. Chastened, Hal mends his ways ... for about five minutes.

The humour in my books is very dry and understated, because I don't like lame, silly gags and I hate beating readers over the head with the obvious and I hate explaining jokes. If you get it, great. If you don't, there's still a decent plot ... and I still earn royalties from your copy ;-)

So, the fifth and final reason: The more people share and discuss the book, the less chance it'll be perceived as Crocodile Dundee in space. Hence all my prize draws to give copies away.

Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)

Win a copy of Hal Spacejock


Published by FACP, Distributed by Penguin


"Fast, funny, quirky, enthralling comedy adventure"
Tom Holt


I know many people missed out in the last draw, so I'm having another one. I'll draw ten copies next weekend. Winners choose either Hal 1 or 2, airmail postage is included.

Just visit this page to enter.


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Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock and Hal Junior series (Amazon / Smashwords / other formats)